For the final time, I will put forth that "parental guardian" is not equivalent to "bottomless money pit." You would do well to remember that. I've had to stretch to make ends meet merely to put food on the table. We do not need any flash or gaudy display of wantonness and greed.


As for you, I'll warn you not to get any crumbs on any of the furniture. There are tables for a reason and it is not far gone for me to expect manners out of any of you. Excuse me for questioning, but I must know; am I raising children in a home, or pigs in a sty? Because the difference at the moment is miniscule at best.


If this is how you have always behaved (or I should say, misbehaved), then it is no small wonder why you have been lacking parental guidance. No one man has patience enough to deal with you!

....With you perhaps being the lone exception to that rule.

As for the rest of you, it's long since past lunchtime so I expect clean hands and faces when you finally present yourselves.

You, set the table.

I have never taken an interest in civil services in my own country, let alone a foreign city which finds new and exciting ways each day to add to my utmost loathing of the place. Being called upon to mediate is both tiresome and - in most cases - fruitless. Whoever the both of you are, I hope profoundly you are willing to open your minds, have a will to learn, and above all an intricate, innate sense of knowing when to be silent.

Somehow, I have my doubts.

Mr. Foster. I should like a word with you.

...And it appears as though the City has decided to leave me magic-less. I suppose I ought to be grateful to keep my original form, amidst the cries of fires being lit and furniture destroyed.

Whoever ought there has taken my talents from me, try not to make too much of a mess. I understand without the years of schooling and discipline it takes to control such abilities you remain at quite a loss, but at least use some common sense, if indeed you possess such a characteristic.

....I am having the most profound debate on whether this form is worse than the last.

It appears I shall be taking the day off from brewing anything, as I've lost all my dexterity, as well as any hope of walking across the floor.

[Filtered to the named]

Mr. Foster, Mr. Shunsui, your regular orders will be delayed a day in light of this curse.

..And this was precisely how I wished to spend my evening. Mr. Zeeman, it is enough to deal with you on a daily basis without seeing your face in my own mirror.


Get over here immediately so that I may administer the Polyjuice potion.

It never fails to amaze how things are always made to get worse as the days go by. Ought the streets to overflow with lava, or will we all become possessed? Who could possibly tell? Though Hogwarts had certainly been lacking in several factors (the fact that there must exist students for it to be officially called a school is a major one), at least I knew what shape and state of mind I would be when I awoke. This is simply getting ridiculous and I won't be tolerating the occupation of these Stewards any longer.

Unless, of course, they've come to take Potter off my hands. In which case I should invite them with open arms.

Perhaps next year I will find myself in better situations. A better situation, in the case all of you weren't aware, would be being left completely alone.



Though I am grateful for one thing. All of this panic and hysteria have left the mundane to pass unnoticed. I have survived another birthday unmolested.


[ooc: And yes, technically it is his birthday. He waited until it was a half hour before it was over just so he'd be left alone. >> So here's to officially reaching middle age]

And there is a ridiculous, pointless display of power. My congratulations to whatever thick-headed idiot destroyed that structure, clearly your choice of targets was inspired.

Anita, Lyra..Sweeney? I trust none of you were near that building when it exploded? Though I'm sure if you had, there would have been notice of it by now.

I'm Mister White Christmas

I'm Mister Snow

I'm Mister Icicle

I'm Mister Ten Below

Friends call me Snow Miser,

Whatever I touch

Turns to snow in my clutch


I'm too much!

Hah hah! Get over here, Heat Miser, you hot potato, so I can show you how we really celebrate the New Year's! Snowstorms, icicles, snowmen, a winter wonderland! That's my style!

Dear City, don't listen to whatever that hot dog of a brother of mine says, he's only upset because Mother loves me the most.

[ooc: Affected by the Mask curse. Snape is the Snow Miser from The Year Without a Santa Claus.]

Is this wretched holiday now over with?

Good

[Voice Post]

Potter. Off the furniture.

[/Voice Post]

Now that the festivities are over, consider this a warning, City: the next time someone decides to assault me with a surprise home redecoration, be prepared to face serious consequences.

Ms. Walker, Mr. Foster, and whoever you are, consider that your last warning.

Also, it has come to my attention that a number of these shirts are going around the City. If I see any of you wearing one, then consider yourselves ripe for a well-placed jinx in the back.

[ooc: Why yes, he did just name Alucard's gifted vampire kitten after Harry just so he could verbally abused him in spirit]

It is my fondest wish that people retain their attitudes today all through the holiday season.

Perhaps then there is a small chance of my getting any peace in this City.

If revelers truly wished people to be merry at this time of year, they wouldn't have written stories either illogical (think of a certain reindeer) or depressing (the Little Matchstick Girl comes to mind).

Allow me, uncursed, to repeat the sentiments of the Network today: You keep Christmas in your way, and allow me to keep it in mine.

Get out!

All of you! I am through with you all in life, and am not going to entertain your presence in death!

[sounds of a book slamming down on a table in order to properly emphasize his words]

I am leaving. Should any of you three choose to follow, then do so at your own risk!


[ooc: Empty threats ahoy. Snape is currently being haunted by a certain group of Mauraders, sans Peter.]

I murdered the Headmaster because he ordered me to do so.

Contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy sacrificing defenseless mentors, thank you.

As an aside, there is to be no comparison whatsoever between myself and any character from a certain Charles Dickens novel. Voice your stunning contentions someplace else.

A note to all City residents about the coming month,

Yes, I am understanding of the fact that coming up is a holiday of festive cheer. Regardless, let it hitherto be known that there is to be no display of lights, wreaths, holly, or a tree anywhere near my living quarters. I don't care what you do on your own schedule, so long as it doesn't impede mine. As far as I'm concerned, December is simply another month, regardless of the hype some of you place on it.

On that same note, any Christmas cards or catalogs shoved unceremoniously under my door are going straight into the furnace. Note the displeasure in my tone; I am utterly serious. Nothing is a bigger waste of my time than pointless celebrations of fake cheer and 'good will towards men'.

I am sorry to say that there is no such thing.

[ooc: Someone's in a bit of a grinch-like mood.]

If I pointedly ignore the lyrics, the music of Celestina Warbeck is actually quite good.

...Why on earth would I say that?

All of you look entirely ridiculous.

I'm sorry.

...I'm sorry. I didn't mean-...

Don't go!

Don-...

Please don't go. You can't. It was an accident, a stupid accident, it won't happen again.

Please.

[ooc: Affected! Re-inacting moment in front of the portrait with Lily Evans, as played by Arion. Comment-spam for him in an alleyway where Snape grabbed him, journal-posts for everyone else]

The next time you come into the apartment trailing paintsplattered clothing, Mr. Weasely and Mr. Longbottom,I will not be permitting you to use a cleansing spell and instead you'll have to clean the carpets by hand. Perhaps that chore may deter further misbehavior.

As for the last curse...hn. You were exceptionally lucky I was not fully aware of my own surroundings. Otherwise you might have all been dead. I see your time spent in the City has made you all negligent of your already remedial skills.

..My apologies for the families of whomever I may or may not have murdered, despite that the victims stayed down for an hour or so at most.

And I shall not be attending this masquerade. I obliged you once already, Sweeney, and once is more than enough.

[loud sounds of curses being shouted, furniture being knocked over and pottery breaking all around the apartment]

Longbottom, you said your name was? How...ironically amusing to run into you. Now tell me, what manner of spells did you do to drag me here? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!

[a chair explodes into tiny splinters as the spell misses]

Running away? How incredibly brave of you. Clearly you must be the finest Hogwarts has to offer now these days.


Where is he?! Where is the Dark Lord? What the devil is this place?


[ooc: Never turned to the good side, never became a Hogwarts professor. Stuck with Voldemort through and through. Muggles and Mudbloods beware]

..Must have...taken a wrong turn somewhere..


Perfect..Well done indeed, Severus. You'll be top of your class at that rate.



..ugh. Now, how to...get home.


What-...some Muggle device. [dark sarcasm] And the plot thickens, doesn't it?


...perfect.